Helping you get unf*cked
We don’t get f*cked up alone, and we can’t get un-f*cked up alone, either.
No one becomes who they are alone. We are constantly influenced by the systems we enter into, both consciously and unconsciously. Sometimes those systems positively serve us, such as finding a community we identify with and feel accepted by. Other times these systems can cause harm, such as feeling marginalized by a family we are told “should love us unconditionally.”
By looking at the larger context of the issue, it allows us to understand why and how these problems came to be, how we need to cope in the moment, and how we can re-author them going forward. By changing how we interact with the system, the system itself is forced to adapt. While it may be uncomfortable at first, it ultimately creates the opportunity to achieve more sustainable results.
A dynamic approach
Clients have described my style as collaborative, grounded, and transparent, layered with humor and dusted with profanity. I aim to meet you where you are at, tailor the therapeutic experience to meet your unique needs, and check in frequently to make sure your goals are in alignment to your end-game. I believe that feedback is critical to the therapeutic relationship, and the therapeutic relationship is critical to your success (no really, research says that the therapeutic relationship is the best predictor of outcomes).
To put it frankly: If you are looking for someone to nod along with what you’re saying and endlessly validate you, it’s not me. If you are looking for someone who is invested in your ability to meet your goals, can empathize with your experience, while still challenging you, you’ve come to the right place.
I don’t want to be the best therapist you’ve ever had.
I want to be an objectively helpful person in your life. That’s why I ask clients who come every week or biweekly to sign a discharge agreement that limits the duration of the therapeutic relationship. Not only do I want to ensure that you know you can do it on your own, after three years, I’ve likely taught you all the things I have to share. Like a good TV show, I want to go out on a high note.
My orientation borrows from Narrative Therapy, Somatic Therapy, Internal Family Systems, and Motivational Interviewing. These approaches focus on the language we use to understand the world and rely heavily on the strength of our therapeutic relationship. They provide tools to break down experiences or objectives into digestible steps. Interventions are often creative, unexpected, experiential, and designed to push you roughly 20% outside your comfort zone.
Using the gifts of reflection, reframing, and intuition, I help you identify thegaps you have filled in your own story. Then, I challenge them by pointing out the value conflicts, thinking errors, and other elements at play. By increasing your insight into your own absurdity (like talking yourself into and out of decisions over and over again), I’m able to help you see all of the options on the table, and make sense of how they will work for you.
If I’m is doing my job right, two things are true:
You will not always like me
One day, you won't need me anymore
